Do you have a work dilemma, career quandary or are facing challenges in the office? The i Paper’s work column answers readers’ questions with leading experts in careers and workplace psychology. Email questions to work@PasarModern.com
It’s happened again. After being pulled aside in yet another sudden, unscheduled one-on-one meeting with my line manager and a member of HR – I’ve been laid off.
The worst part? This is the fifth time it’s happened to me in a row now over an eight-year period. At five different companies, my role has been “impacted” by staff reshuffles, acquisitions, “last one in and first one out” situations and one time where my boss simply didn’t like me.
In my current job as a software developer at a tech firm, I was let go just six months after starting my new position. I had just started to make friends, build connections and hit my stride. While I wait out my short notice period, colleagues have been treating me like a piece of glass that might break, with pity in their eyes. Everyone keeps telling me “it’s probably all for the best” or “you’ll be fine”.
I feel depressed and like there’s something wrong with me. Am I cursed? What am I doing wrong? I’m going to take some time off after my last day – as much as I can afford – but the thought of looking for another job when I could meet the same fate again feels unbearable. I’m 41 – what should I do next?
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Paul McGee is an international keynote speaker and performance coach. He is the author of several books including the just-published 20th Anniversary edition of the bestselling book, SUMO (Shut Up, Move On): The Straight-Talking Guide to Succeeding in Life. Here’s his advice.
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It’s normal to feel upset or anxious right now. A job loss is an incredibly stressful experience and a profound life change – particularly if it has come out of the blue. From the sound of it, the added layer of disappointment comes from the fact that your recent opportunity was prematurely cut short just as you were starting to excel. I’d urge you to take the time to grieve the loss of this version of your future. But, also know that this could be the catalyst for unexpected opportunities and positive growth beyond anything you could have imagined.
Years ago, I lost my high-flying job when I was suddenly diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. Not only was I suddenly jobless, but I was also dealing with major health issues and having to use a walking stick. After being ill for three years, I was forced to become self-employed just to survive. Although it was a challenging time in my life, it ultimately led to the success I have today.
Many of us derive our self-esteem, identity and status from the jobs we do in life, so when that is taken away from us in circumstances we deem to be unfair, it’s natural that our confidence might be impacted. But remember: redundancy is not your fault, and future employers know it is beyond your control.
Earlier this year, research by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development found that 32 per cent of UK companies planned to reduce their headcount through redundancies or fewer hires. According to the Office for National Statistics, since July last year, the number of employees on company payrolls in the UK dropped by 164,000. It’s a challenging time in the world of work, and you have been directly affected. You can’t change this. But you can control what you do next.
Take time off, but don’t wallow
I’m sure you’ve done this already, but ask for feedback on your current job. What was the reason this position was made redundant? Was it performance-based or target-based? Was it because of company-wide cuts? Knowing you’re not the only one can be comforting.
Give yourself time to process what has just happened. Sometimes a change of environment can do a world of good, so get out of the house or take a weekend away from your city to recharge. You might be feeling shocked or mentally burnt out, so connect with loved ones, talk things through and consider what you’d like to do next.
It’s ok to wallow, feel bad or sad – but temporarily. It’s a detour – not a destination.
Manage the practical stuff
Your finances will likely be one of the immediate things you might be worrying about, and money can be a big source of stress.
Do a financial audit – a money diary – and look at where you can cut back on extravagances, subscriptions and unnecessary spending. It’s not forever, but just to buy you some time before you make your next move.
Reframe your ‘failures’
Our brains are very skilled at noticing the negatives. We’ll laser-focus on a pattern of five redundancies and spin it into a much more sinister narrative: we’re cursed, there’s something wrong with us. You don’t want to get into this victim mindset, as it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Try and put your redundancy into context. Every day, people around the world lose their jobs. There are so many people in this country who have never worked in their lives or who cannot get a job, and you’ve been made redundant five times – which also means you’ve managed to get a job five times. That’s no easy feat. So, no. No one is looking at you with pity in their eyes. You’ve gone through this before and you’ve come out the other side. You’re more resilient than you give yourself credit for.
Do a self-audit
Your CV is obviously good, as are your interview techniques, but perhaps your industry is going through major changes. I can’t tell you what to do, but maybe it might not be the best move to pursue another job in this sector.
If you think you might want to pivot, as a starting point, sit down and list the skills you have. I worked with redundant coal miners back in the early 90s, helping them with CVs and interview techniques. They would tell me all they had ever known was working in a pit. But what jumped out to me was an ability to work in a high-pressure environment, team skills, experience with complex and expensive machinery and sticking to tight deadlines.
If you extract those skills that you’ve demonstrated, developed and acquired in those roles, suddenly you can see you’ve got a transferable toolkit you can take anywhere.
Head to LinkedIn for networking – or inspiration
At 41, you have probably been in employment since your early 20s. Which means you will have close to 20 years of work experience. You will have acquired a lot of contacts in that time. Start by connecting with some of them. Explain the situation. You never know what may come from it.
Go on LinkedIn for inspiration. Have a look at people whose careers you admire – what has been their trajectory and have they pivoted? Reach out to them and ask for 15 minutes of their time, even if it’s to soundboard your thoughts with another professional. You might find the conversations spark opportunities or new connections. Register with some recruitment agencies too.
It’s never too late – age is just a number
Listen. You are 41 years young – not old – and with a wealth of experience that you can do anything with, whether you choose to adapt or pivot.
I wrote some books in the 90s – they did OK, but that was it. Then, aged 41, the exact same age as you are now, I wrote SUMO (Shut Up, Move On). It had been rejected by 13 publishers when one decided to take a chance on me. 20 years ago, WHSmith made it business book of the month and it went on to become a bestseller.
Maybe this fifth redundancy is the one that spurs you into action to do something completely different. Maybe it will open your eyes to a life-changing hobby or passion. Maybe you’re going to look back in 20 years and be grateful it happened.
