- Sign up for our US Editor’s Picks newsletter for all the biggest exclusive stories
To tip, or not to tip this holiday season, that is the question.
It’s the season of giving and it’s essential to give gratuity to all those who make your life easier as a sign of appreciation, an etiquette expert told Daily Mail.
Whether you’re like Monica Geller in the sitcom Friends handing out home-baked cookies to your superintendent or slipping them a crisp $100 bill, etiquette expert Myka Meier of Beaumont Etiquette believes you should reward a helping hand with an extra bonus this holiday season.
And this includes everyone from doormen and postmen to nannies, cleaners and even your trash collector.
Meier recommended slipping your doorman, superintendent and housekeeper anywhere between $25 and $100 for their services, while others like mail carriers and weekly help can be between $10 to $50. For caregivers and nannies she suggests one week’s pay.
‘Doormen, for example, often provide daily, highly personal service, from opening doors, accepting and protecting packages, helping with guest arrivals, and often even acting as security,’ Meier told the Daily Mail.
‘Their role is hands-on and very relationship-based, which is why I recommend that their range is higher!’
The scale of what is acceptable to tip varies based on city, country, or state. Meier would not expect someone from middle America to be tipping their doorman or superintendent the same amount as someone living in a luxury building in the Big Apple.
‘Cost of living absolutely matters,’ she said. ‘Someone tipping in Ohio is likely giving a much different amount than someone in NYC. Tipping etiquette is not one-size-fits-all.
‘Someone in a metropolitan area, like New York City, San Francisco, or Miami, may tip at the higher end of the range, because cost of living is higher, while someone in a smaller city or suburban area may tip less – and that’s perfectly appropriate.’
And for those big on purchasing everything from Amazon and in desperate need to hide their multiple packages a week from their spouses, they should certainly consider tipping their trusty delivery driver a little extra.
‘Definitely increase their tip, they deserve it,’ Meier told the Daily Mail.
But that doesn’t mean you have to hand every Amazon, UPS, FedEx, and USPS driver a check as they hand you your latest package.
‘If you’ve had very minimal service, or a genuinely poor experience, a tip is not obligatory,’ the etiquette expert said. ‘That said, even in those cases, a kind note can still go a long way.’
Another tip Meier has for choosing the size of your tip is to consider how long you’ve known the person and how much interaction they have with you and your loved ones.
‘Longevity naturally builds connection,’ she said. ‘If someone has supported you for years, helped raise your children, or consistently gone above and beyond, it’s thoughtful for the amount to increase over time. Think of it as acknowledging not just the role, but the relationship.’
And although cash is the most appreciated option, showing gratitude does not have to mean handing out $100 bills.
For those like Monica in Friends, who was tight on cash, choosing to hand out baked goods and handwritten notes ‘can absolutely be appropriate, especially if you know the individual well,’ Meier said.
‘It’s very much case-by-case. The key is sincerity and knowing your audience and remembering it’s the thought that counts. People appreciate generosity this time of year,’ she told the Daily Mail.
A dual American and British citizen, Meier has been instructing etiquette since 2012 working with individuals and Fortune 100 companies globally.
She is the founder of the New York City-based consultancy Beaumont Etiquette, children’s brand and YouTube series Mini Manners and the co-founder of The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program.
She trained in London under a former member of the royal household for Queen Elizabeth II.
Read more
- What’s the surprising truth about how much you should tip your cleaner or gardener this festive season?
- Is it time to abandon tipping etiquette, or should Brits still reward ‘exceptional service’?
- Are holiday tips turning into a financial nightmare or a heartwarming gesture for doormen this season?
- Is tipping driving up your delivery bill? See how suggested tips may turn a cheap meal into a pricey affair, and what etiquette experts recommend!
- What’s the curious clash between British and American tipping etiquette, and why should visitors adjust their expectations accordingly?
