Women Describe Lasting Trauma and Fear from Stalking

A Student’s Courageous Post Sparks National Conversation on Stalking and Consent

Smriti Paudel, a student at Amrit Science College (ASCOL) in Lainchaur, made a bold move on Friday when she shared an Instagram post that would soon go viral. Her message, titled “Enough is enough. Calling for safety,” was a 11-page account of her experience being stalked and harassed by Sumit Bhattarai for over a year. The post quickly gained traction, amassing more than 10,000 likes, 800 comments, and 13,000 shares within hours.

Paudel described how Bhattarai had been following her relentlessly—riding the same vehicle, taking the same microbus, and even showing up at her exam center. She also mentioned that he lurked near her home, turning her safe space into a place of fear. The post included videos of Bhattarai stalking her, which further highlighted the severity of the situation.

Her story has now ignited a public conversation about stalking and consent in Nepal. According to Paudel’s post, the harassment began over a year ago and continued without respite. She detailed how Bhattarai would approach her, trying to touch her, and even called her from multiple numbers. At her college, where Paudel is a sixth-semester CSIT student and Bhattarai is a graduate, he would show up when faculty and administrators were absent. He even brought hooligans to threaten her friend, claiming, “If anyone interferes, I will hack them.”

Paudel said she repeatedly turned to the police, only to face weak responses. She noted that the police only made Bhattarai sign meaningless agreements, while he continued his harassment. She also claimed that Bhattarai had political connections, making him feel untouchable.

Despite the lack of support from authorities, Paudel found strength in her community. Her post received overwhelming support from other women who shared similar experiences. Many commented that they too had faced normalised stalking and felt powerless to speak out.

Paudel’s father confirmed the incidents to the media, stating that the family had re-filed a First Information Report (FIR) with the police. However, Paudel herself did not want to engage with the media or appear in interviews, as she was overwhelmed.

As of Paudel’s latest update, she visited the Sorahkhutte police station for consultations and later went to the Kalimati police station, where the accused was finally taken into custody after public pressure. However, the arrest did little to reassure Paudel and those supporting her.

A close friend and classmate recalled how previous complaints at various police stations led nowhere. Cases were filed, but Bhattarai would return the next day, threatening her and even issuing rape threats. The police, according to the friend, often told victims, “Victims just need to be careful in these cases; there’s no proper law to address this.”

Paudel’s story has sparked a broader discussion about stalking, entitlement, and the disregard for consent in Nepal. Many commenters noted that her experience is not isolated but rather a reflection of what countless women endure in silence every day.

Take Babita, a woman from Biratnagar, who was stalked for six months by a man living across the street. She never told anyone, fearing blame and judgment. Even after the stalking ended, she still experiences panic when hearing distant calls or footsteps. She believed the police would not take her case seriously, as she had no physical evidence to prove her claims.

Experts like Bina Shrestha, a mental health professional, highlight that stalking can cause trauma and PTSD, leading to trust issues, self-doubt, and anxiety. Victims may internalise blame, thinking, “I shouldn’t dress up,” and give up self-care.

Swikriti, a 22-year-old from Lalitpur, recently experienced similar trauma after ending a controlling relationship. Her ex appeared outside her college, sending messages begging her to return or threatening her if she didn’t. Despite the harassment, she never went to the police, fearing judgment from her family and friends.

Following Paudel’s post, while many expressed support, some men dismissed her situation as “true love” or claimed she was overreacting. Activists and experts say this reflects deep-rooted gender norms in Nepal.

Sharada Puri, a psychologist and activist, notes that stalking is becoming alarmingly common. She attributes this to societal misunderstandings of consent, where men believe they have the right to control women. Anjali Sah, a feminist activist, adds that the idea of love and consent is often distorted, similar to how it is portrayed in movies like Kabir Singh.

Nepal Police does not categorise stalking as a standalone crime. Binod Ghimire, DIG and spokesperson for Nepal Police, admitted that he is not aware of receiving such cases. He explained that depending on the severity, police may issue warnings rather than pursue cases, especially if minors are involved.

However, victims and advocates argue that police rarely take these cases seriously. Puri notes that victim-blaming and judgment occur when the stalker is an ex-partner. Pathak, an advocate at Forum for Women, Law and Development, says that there is no specific law addressing stalking. It is often viewed under broader categories like misconduct or sexual harassment.

Cyberstalking also faces similar challenges. Deepak Raj Awasthi, spokesperson for the Cyber Bureau, stated that the Electronic Transaction Act does not clearly define cyber stalking. Cases are often filed under broader harassment categories.

Paudel’s Instagram post exposed the reality that many women already know: stalking is pervasive, normalised, and rarely punished. Laws have not caught up, and police record-keeping fails to capture the full scope of the issue. Pathak calls for urgent reform, emphasizing the need for explicit legal definitions of stalking and sensitisation of law enforcement.

Following Bhattarai’s arrest, Paudel wrote in her latest post: “While this is a step toward justice, I am deeply disappointed with Nepal’s legal system. A perpetrator is punished only after a long, exhausting journey of constant follow-ups, repeated written appeals, and, when all else fails, the desperate need to call public support.”