I’ll never forget the first time I landed a kickflip. I’m not sure how old I was, but old enough to be convinced it would be the most epic moment of my life. I recall the first time I got a fractured elbow and the sense of pride that came with achieving such a milestone. I remember spending weekends catching public transport to distant skateparks. There were probably worries and stresses, I’m sure, but I don’t really recall them. The soft hiss of the wheels and the sharp clack of the maple wood would drown them out.
I recall the moment when everything shifted.
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I’d just turned 19 and a nagging voice in my head was finally in tune with the constant encouragement from everyone around me. I needed a plan to make the leap into adulthood, and if skateboarding was going to be part of that plan, I needed to set a goal for it. Up until that point, I’d just been skating for the sake of it, but suddenly I wanted to become a pro skateboarder. This would be a way to justify the time I spent on my board. For the next couple of years, my life played out like a training montage from Rocky. Skateparks became my second home. At night or when it was raining, I’d watch skate DVDs on repeat. Nothing else mattered. To be honest, I didn’t get invited to many parties during this time, and I wouldn’t have gone even if I was invited. I mean, you can’t skate when you’re hungover. But there was a major problem: I just wasn’t good enough.
So I stopped.
beamed into every lounge room.
After all these years, I’d forgotten the names of heaps of the tricks Trew landed – a 360 whatever-it’s-called, or a frontside whatchamacallit – but the cheers from the crowd brought it back to me: that was a ripper of a time.
For a lot of the blokes I hung out with when I was younger, skateboarding might’ve been more than just a hobby, but for me it was purely about having fun and I was keen to get back to that.
The nagging voice in my head was still going on about how if you’re going to do something, you’d better be getting something out of it. It reckons pleasure that’s earned is what’s worthwhile, and that play’s a luxury you should only indulge in once you’ve made some progress. Fair dinkum, I’d become pretty good at tuning it out, but it’s got some valid points, like: you’ll end up looking like a galah.
“It’s pretty intimidating.”
He said grown-ups made up the majority of his customers and gave me the advice he tells all mature-age boarders: “Don’t be afraid of sucking.”
His words really struck a chord. They gave me the okay I didn’t even know I needed – but deep down I really wanted – to let go of my ego and the other things I’d been telling myself I had to do before I could go skateboarding.
I wasn’t the only one in my social circle who felt the strong urge to pick up skateboarding again and have a good time.
My good mate Aimee Joy, a former team rider for the now-defunct Australian skate crew UPS, has been skating for most of her life. Now in her 30s, Joy reckons she’s got a “whole new appreciation” for skateboarding – even after three ankle surgeries and a calf reconstruction. “It’s more fun than it’s ever been at any stage of my life. I’m just in the moment now, enjoying it.”
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I was pumped up by a newfound urge to be rubbish at something, but I still planned my return to the skatepark in Sydney’s Lilyfield like a stealthy invasion. I worked out every detail: here’s where I’ll show up, here’s where I can sit out of view, and here’s where I’ll make a quick getaway if things go pear-shaped.
I needn’t have worried.
When I got back to the skatepark, there was a family with little nippers, a mob of teenagers and some older blokes scattered around. Everyone saw just how hopeless I was at skateboarding. They were all cheering me on or, at the worst, too busy having their own good time to even notice how bad I was. We all swapped advice, dished out tips, held cameras and shared spanners. We switched off from the world and soaked up the sunshine. We did just about everything except judge each other.
From the first push, it didn’t feel odd being back after all this time. The only odd thing was that it felt like not a day had passed.
I laced up me helmet and started cruisin’ around the skate park. I was feelin’ pretty confident about knockin’ off some big things in life, but I let out a sigh of relief that none of ’em would be here.
